I Have the Write

Oh, Tony!  It’s Just You!

 Forward:  I like gangster movies; I have since I was a kid.  I loved The Sopranos, because it was basically a soap opera about gangsters, and I was all over that.  I especially liked the character Tony Soprano, but it was sometimes hard to watch him, because he looked every bit like my father.

     It was a few days before I was to move away from a place I did not want to leave.  I had a lot of things to do while still trying to sponge up everything I loved about Beaufort.  I was distracted and unhappy on this particular day, because the moving truck was coming tomorrow, and I still had a good bit of stuff to pack.  And I hate being behind schedule.

             I pulled into Brighthouse where I’d stopped to return the cable box.  With a hundred things on my mind, I got the box out of the back of the car and slung my purse up on my shoulder.  Damn, that box was heavy, and as I got near the door my bag slipped off my shoulder.  Here I was, trying to get the door open, re-situate my bag and keep from dropping the cable box.  Inside I saw there was a small line, for which I was grateful since it would allow me time to get my shit together before I got to the counter.

            So, I stood there in line, finally all set for my turn, when I felt someone watching me.  I could feel my skin crawling and a cold sweat breaking out at the small of my back.  Suddenly I had to pee.

            “Ok,” I said to myself, “You know it’s not him.  He fancied himself as omnipresent, but he IS dead, you know.”  I was sure the day had finally come; I’d really and truly lost it this time, and they’d be coming to take me for my permanent vacation any minute now. 

            “Lori!”  I barked to myself in my mind, “Quit acting afool!  You KNOW he’s not there.”          

            “Yeah, he is,” the scared part of me responded.  “He’s right fucking there over my left shoulder.  He’s standing there; I can see him this minute out of the corner of my eye.”

            “Look, fool!  Turn your head and look!”

            I snapped my head to the left quick as a bunny, and there it was, a life-sized cutout of Tony Soprano in all his swaggering glory, proudly proclaiming that The Sopranos was coming to AMC.  I exhaled and really did feel like a fool.  Finally my turn came and I returned the cable box.  I walked out, saluting good ol’ Tony as I left.     As I picked up where I’d left off to continue sorting out the myriad things yet to be done, I heard that familiar voice in my mind. 

            “Silly girl!  Do you really still believe after all these years that death makes me LESS omnipresent?”  I just knew he was laughing then, and actually I laughed, too.